Haters Make me Stronger

I am fascinated by those that talk about me when my life in NO WAY impacts or is impacted by theirs.

Long story short - I believe Jason is lying about not getting a roommate. So I wanted to do some research. Now, I have deleted almost all of his friends from my Facebook - as I could care less what they are doing - especially since he is telling people lies about me and making up stories. Regardless, I did keep a couple of people.

Anyway, the person that I am quite certain is moving in with Jason had not yet been deleted. So, I checked his FB today to see if there were any comments about him moving in with Jason. And what did I find?

He and another one of Jason's friends, who I have deleted, had been commenting back and forth, making fun of "Sazzle".

I am fascinated with people that mock me and comment about things that I do when I was nothing but cool to these two guys. I never said anything bad about them and I genuinely really liked them. WTF? Are people SO BORED and negative that they have to mock someone that has no impact on their lives?

This is just more reinforcement that my life is so much better without any of them. Thank GOD I am out and never have to be part of any of their lives.

I am NOT a Weirdo

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Sazzlerific Thanksgiving 2009

As you all know, I decided to spend 3 nights at my parent's house for Thanksgiving. Had a blast! Here are some highlights:

For those of you that don't know, Niko has only been in the car a few times. So, riding in a car for 2 hours with her is not fun. Jumps to the front, jumps to the back, whines in my ear, tries to sit on my back, pant, pant, pant, jumps to the front, jumps to the back, accidentally shifts my car from drive to neutral, pant, pant, pant...not very fun. She didn't calm down until I was on the other side of Newaygo - which means she was nuts for about 60-75 minutes. However, once we got to the house, she calmed down.

Niko hung out with Max, my brother Kevin's dog.

There was some of this:

...and some of this...

...but there was mostly this:

...and a WHOLE LOT of this:

Finally, Niko has someone to play tug of war with!!! For the most part, they got along quite well - except for one instance when Niko tried to eat Max's food while he was eating. Each morning, Max would whine at my "bedroom" door until I opened it up and let Niko out to play. Didn't sleep in, but Niko had a great time with her new Buddy.

So, what did my family and I do while I was home?

We posed for pictures:

Kevin (21), Sarah (17), Dad, Elizabeth (30), Mom, Me (21...er 28), David (28), Scott (23), Kendyl (5), and Aden (3).

And more photos:

I played with Aden - I was the good guy and he was the bad guy. Although, after he met Scott's girlfriend Sara - she got the Aden Attention.

Speaking of Scott's girlfriend, Sara: He brought her home. Not only is she pretty, but we really like her. Hopefully he doesn't mess this one up and scare her away!!!! We can't figure out what she sees in him!!!!! (Kidding Scott - but this is a ploy to get you to comment on my blog and actually add yourself as a follower)

Sara and Scott

I was intrigued with the editing skills in the local paper. The Fremont Times Indicator apparently doesn't understand the difference between a comma and a semi-colon!!!

I posed some more...

I found out that now Mr. Aden Pants is very good at telling stories and that Kendyl probably prefers singing to the songs in her dance class than actually dancing.

We also posed for the classic "Sisters" picture. As always, I grab the middle spot! I tell everyone that it is so that it goes in age order - but really it is because the middle gets more attention in a picture :)

There was some Wii playing...

Although I would have preferred to have Scott and Sara do the Hannah Montana dance (yes, they know it)

Oh, speaking of the Wii: Kevin, Sarah and I played Mario on the Wii for about 10 hours on Friday. As a matter of fact, Sarah and I didn't even change out of our pajamas on Friday.

Me and Sarah Marie posing some more

We played Bolderdash. I was the purple one...can you figure out who won? Hmmm...if I remember correctly, everyone else gave up...

Niko had a great time at "Grandma's" house. I am quite relieved because she has to stay there for a week in December when I go to Amsterdam. Thankfully I think she will do great!

Oh...there was some of this that went on too...Niko loved this ball.

Highlights of the trip:

• Niko being REALLY good on the way back to GR - thank GOD she is finally getting used to the car

Here is how happy she was to be riding home:

• Aden singing "I love Christmas, I love Christmas...ALL DAY!!!"
• Having Mom cook tons and tons of food
• Watching Scotty's Sara play with the kids. Uh Oh Scott... :)
• Kevin being the best brother EVER and changing my oil, fixing a flat, fixing a fuse, changing my brake pads, and being really good to Niko
• Elizabeth getting confused by the time zone between Scott and us...telling him that he could "ruin" a show for me because he sees it an hour earlier...he he...
• Everyone liking Niko...even though she is a sloppy drinker and gets water all over the floor
• Consuming my weight in sugar...sadly it is probably close to true
• Getting hit on at the Auto Parts store when I hadn't showered and looked AWFUL...Fremont makes me laugh
• NOT getting up for Black Friday - but being woke up every morning because the "kids" wanted to play
• Staying up REALLY late with the family each night
• Having everyone actually call Niko "SHE" and "HER". Most people call her "HIM"
• Spending some MUCH needed and overdue time with my family - they Sazzle

Oh - and did I mention I Sazzle?

BEST THANKSGIVING EVER!!!

Week #1 - Success!

As I wrote a week ago, I am now focusing on creating my Sazzle Style. Each week/month will be focused around a different area of my life that I am working on. This week was about planning how to turn this crappy apartment into a "home". Result - SUCCESS!!!

Let me explain all the Sazzle Style that has been created in the apartment:

First, I bought 2 of these lamps and put them in the living room.

Then, I decided that I liked these better for the living room:

So, the first ones went in the bedroom and the second ones are in the living room. Now I can give Mom her lamps back!

Up next, I hung these pictures:

...and these:

Then I hung my diploma:

Up next: Set up the Christmas tree. Yay for festive holidays!!!

To continue with the festive attitude, I hung this shelf with some cute little decorations:

I was on a roll, so I hung up these hooks:

Oh...and I bought this coat:

And purse:

And this purse:

And my shoe of the month came:

Oh, and I got this cute thing to hang Christmas Cards from. Now, hopefully I will get a couple!

When I say I am going to do something, I like to get it accomplished. I am quite impressed with my "home" progress thus far...and pretty impressed with my cute new accessories. I am also working on "designing" some curtains, pillows, table-runner, and accessories in teal and silver - as I decided that should be the color scheme.

Now - can someone PLEASE convince my mom to actually make me the curtains, table runner, pillows, etc...?

"Momma I'm Coming Home"

I have a ton to update you on - as my first Sazzle focus week went very well. However, I want to take a minute to talk about Thanksgiving.

For the past 5 Thanksgivings, I have spent the day only at my parents' house. This year is a bit different. Niko and I will be spending a few DAYS in Fremont.

Now, I have to say that I am ACTUALLY excited. As a matter of fact, I am more excited about this Thanksgiving than I have been in 5 years. To be quite honest - I am more excited about the whole holiday season than I have been in the past 5 years.

Maybe it is because I get to relax for a few days?

Maybe it is because Niko will have lots of land to run around on?

Maybe it is because I only have to worry about my family this year?

Maybe it is because I don't have to hang out with any weird "in-laws"?

Maybe it is because I don't have to buy any presents for people I don't like?

Maybe it's just because I am happier now?

Whatever the reason - I am excited. I don't even care that I will probably get a million "Steph, when are you going to land a man" or "Steph, when are you going to get married and have babies", or "Well, you will understand when you are married or have kids", or "You should focus more attention on meeting men" comments from family members. I am quite content right now without a man.

Honestly, this is the first time in a long time that I have been "alone" at Thanksgiving, but I don't feel "lonely" in the least!!!!

Pinky

Being sick sucks. I have been running a fever for 8 days and they are certain it is H1N1.

So, what do I do to raise my spirits so that I can feel better? ...

Wear all pink...ALL pink.

Pink underwear, pink sports bra, pink socks, pink tank top, pink hoodie, and pink and white striped Victoria's Secret Pink pants - with the word "Pink" on the butt. Pink, pink, pink.

A: I can fit into all of it again, so that raises my spirits immediately
B: Pink makes me smile and brightens my mood...perhaps I should be wearing/buying more pink.

Everyone have a perfectly pink day!!!

Ok...this is the best I could do for a pic. It is hard by myself to get the full picture.

Week #1: Make your "House" a Home

Going from a house to an apartment sucks. I miss the garage, the grass, the silence....and the list goes on and on. I'll admit - I don't really treat this place like I care about it - to me it is just a crappy apartment, a temporary situation.

Honestly, it may not be as "temporary" as I would ideally like.

Part of me not asking people over is because my place is a mess. (Ok, I am exaggerating - it isn't a "mess" but more of decorated like I am a college kid that just moved out on my own)

To achieve Single Girl Sazzle-ness, I need to start making this place my "home" because that is what it is going to be for awhile. Now, this project will, indeed, take months to achieve - so this week's goal isn't to complete the task - but to complete a plan to complete the task.

Any ideas?

On a Mission Toward Complete Sazzle-ness

Do you know Single Girl Swagger? Have you been witness to it?

Women that exude this Single Girl Swagger are confident, independent, and content with their whole life. They aren't afraid to meet someone new or go to a new place. There is no fear, but excitement for life. These fantastic women are single - LOVE it, embrace it, and if "Mr. Right" never came along, they would be just as content. Now, some non-single women also meet this criteria, but I am referring to just the singles right now.

While I believe I possess at least a little of this "Swag", I haven't completely embraces single-ness. This is my mission - to achieve Complete Single Girl Swagger ... aka... Sazzle-ness.

For the next few weeks/months/years, this will be my goal. Each week I will focus on a different step/goal. Such goals will probably include, but are not limited to:

• Make a crappy apartment feel like a "home" that I am proud to have people visit
• Figure out my real circle of friends - and cherish time with them
• Overcome bad habits
• Learn to be (at least a little) spontaneous
• Find my personal style - and flaunt it
• Learn to try new things - with confidence
• Make my body something I am proud of - and learn to love it

Everyone: Please feel free to comment, give me more goals/steps/suggestions, and give input on successes and failures.

I am giving myself until 2011 - yes, more than a year. I figure it could take awhile to accomplish a few of these things.

Any ideas on what I should tackle first or ideas for more goals?

Sazzle On ... Sazzle On ...

Niko's Hillarious Health Hysterics

I've been meaning to post this blog for awhile, but I was having problems uploading pictures. It seems to be fixed now - so here we go:

Urine Collection #2

Niko's first successful urine sample was not successful at all. Too deluted. What does that mean? Urine collection again...YAY!

Here is the wonderful tray the vet provided me...with a set of gloves. It has little pockets for urine. Urine Pockets - for some reason that is really funny to me.

The urine collection itself went very well. It is actually much easier than I ever thought (although I admit I've never thought about it). Basically, as she squats, I just slide it under her and let her fill it up. When it starts to get full, I pull it back. Not bad.

This time I had to bring her to the vet, so I put the pee tray in a ziplock bag and ALSO in a box. I was NOT going to run the risk of her spilling it all over my car! I loaded the pee and Niko in the car and it was off to the vet.

Niko gets really excited at the vet's office. As soon as I park, she want to jump out. I have to reach back to the backseat, attach her leash, open the door, and hang onto the leash with my life because she is going to bolt. That is exactly what she did.

So, picture this: My car door is open, Niko is pulling as hard as she can because she wants to go smell everything, my huge purse is falling off my shoulder, I have my keys in my hand and I have to reach into the back seat to grab the urine.

Urine...dog pulling me...Urine....dog pulling me...

I reach down to grab the pee and right then Niko pulls really hard. She pulls me up and I slice my finger on the corner of the car door. It immediately starts gushing blood.

Ouch...dog pulling me...urine...finger throbbing and blood everywhere...naughty dog...urine...ouch...

Needless to say, it was not easy getting in the vet's office, but we did it. No kidney disease - so everything works out!

Niko's Scary Allergic Reaction

So, one night Niko started to itch really bad. I was quite certain that she had fleas - so I gave her a bath. I figured I would bathe her first to rule out dry skin before I went and got all the flea stuff.

As Niko is quite prone to ear infections, she has this ear cleaning/drying solution that I am supposed to squirt in her ears. Obviously, she hates it. As soon as the cap comes off, she runs. It can take 3-4 people to hold her down to get it in.

When I took Niko from Jason he said, "Good luck combing her out and putting any drops in her ears - there is no way that you will ever be able to do it!" Obviously, I was determined to do it myself. Now, the cleaning solution has only been used once. (He was referring to ear infection drops) I decided that as a good Mommy - I was going to get the cleaning/drying solution in her ears.

It was a bit rough, but I actually got it done. I locked us in the bathroom with the treat and coaxed her into letting me. I still had to shove my body against her to pin her to the counter, but I got it done. (She also let me comb her).

Then, I started to blog :)

A couple of seconds later, she was going nuts...rubbing her ears on the floor. She looked like the solution was really bothering her, so I took kleenex and wiped out her ears. She loved it.

And I went back to blogging... :)

About 5 minutes later, I looked back and her, and this is what I saw:

I don't think the picture shows how scary it really was, but her whole eye and face were swollen and blotchy. It was scary. She had an allergic reaction before, but so, so, so scary. I called the vet and immediately got the proper dosage for her weight.

Thankfully, it worked and within 30-60 minutes, the swelling and reddness went down. I had her on Benydril and when all is said and done, it stopped the itching too. Was it the cleaning solution or was it something else? Not quite sure but I don't think I can use the cleaning solution on her ever again.

My Friends Sazzle!

Many of you know that I have the flu - probably H1N1 (since I had my normal flu shot) but they didn't actually test for it - they assume. I have been running a fever all week and am SICK! Today I stayed home and was much sicker than I have been all week.

Honestly, it was a really rough day. This was the first day since the break-up that I have been really upset that I don't have a boyfriend. Not for the kissy-lovey reasons, but because I wanted someone to get me Gatorade, soup, cough drops, etc... For the past 5 years, even though things weren't good - he actually would get me those things when I was sick. I felt really "alone" today.

Now, normally my Mom would come take care of me - I have a great mom like that. However, Sarah, my 17-year-old sister has H1N1 herself and was having trouble breathing - so Mom really couldn't come. Being sick always makes you emotional, but I was a mess today.

Then, I was reminded that I am not alone - but that I have amazing friends! Abby came and brought me cough drops and cold medicine even though she was in a big hurry to get to see her Mom win an award. Later, Tami came and brought me Panera soup even though she lives way over in Howard City and I was SOOOOOO out of her way! Now, since it is close to the time that my dad is getting home, Mom is headed this way to come bring me Tylenol 3.

I am NOT all "alone". I am very lucky and thankful to have great friends and family!

Who needs a man when I have such wonderful women in my life? They Sazzle!!!!

There IS Something Sazzle-rific

As of this morning, I have lost a total of 25.5 pounds.

Yep. That Sazzles.

One Step Back...

This week (even though it is only Tuesday) has been rough. I have taken a bit of a step back from my Sazzle-ness and have been consumed by the sad/bad/completely not-rad things that have gone on. There have been lots of tears...

However, I had a great friend tell me today that she has been so proud of who I am becoming and reminded me that I can't let this wreck all the progress - that I WON'T let this wreck me.

Now that I have fallen one step back....It's now time to focus on a few steps forward.

I'm bringing the Sazzle back...

Cougar

Last night was interesting...

Jeremy - one of my former employees - is part of a rap group called "Almost Famous". That is him on the right-hand side.

Last night was the CD release party at The Intersection. Abby and I went...

Perhaps I had a gigantic amount to drink and ended up dancing the night away. Oh...and I might have been next to the photographer who took WAY too many pictures of ME dancing the night away....and maybe the dancing was something I don't want published in any magazine or newspaper...sigh.

About half way into the night, some 17-18 year old girl asked me if I was the mother of one of the band members...no joke. Everyone found it hillarious but I almost hit a girl :) ...double sigh.

During the show, Jeremy pointed to me when he rapped "She's a 10" and another time when he said "she is the bomb". So - awesome!

ABSOLUTE BEST PART: At the end of the show I was the ONLY one in the whole crowd that got a shot-out. Jeremy pointed to me and told everyone that Stephanie Smith was a Cougar.

I'm such a groupie...

Don't worry folks: Abby got me home safe and sound - but I do feel like I was hit by a bus.