Niko Has a Boyfriend

Niko met a boy tonight and I am so happy for her!

I was a good Mommy and took her for a jog in the rain. As we came back soaking wet and tired, we ran into a guy (Mark) and his dog, Sammy.

Sammy looks like a yellow lab with the back coloring of a German Shephard. He is a shephard/lab/husky mix and so pretty - and big! He is really tall!!!

Well, Niko and Sammy fell in love. Come to find out, Sammy is only a month older than Niko so they are at the same developmental stage. I unleashed Niko and the two chased each other like they were best friends. Mark even gave Niko a treat (he had been carrying groceries).

Then, Mark showed me a little trail off of Kent Trails where apparently the owners of the big dogs take their "children" to run without leashes. Sort of an under-ground dog park for the big kids - right in my back yard. While we were walking there and back, Sammy and Niko were running, chasing, and playing. I have never seen her happier.

So glad I was a good Mommy and took her jogging in the rain! I Sazzle!

Side note: yes, Mark is cute...and I know where he lives :) We shall see if we run into them again...strictly for Niko and Sammy, of course :)

Urine Collection Part 2

Sigh.

The vet called today and informed me that Niko probably drank too much water before I collected her first urine sample. It was too deluted.

What does that mean? Oh friends, that means I have the JOY of collecting another sample... However, this should be the last sample. I am to bring Niko in with the sample right after I collect it. If it is still too weak, they can draw a bit of blood and compare some numbers. That should be able to prove whether or not she has kidney disease.

Game Plan:
Next Saturday we will sleep in. YAY!
As soon as we get up, we will collect pee (I think I will go back and get another tray and gloves)
Then, we will hop in the car and go to the vet
Hopefully the whole thing won't take that long. They can test the sample in 20 minutes.

I Sazzle because I'm not freaking out that I need to collect another sample. I am a good Mommy. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Adventures with Sazzle and Squeakers

Oh where to start, where to start?

This first week with Niko has been quite busy and full of ups and downs. I now understand how busy a single mother's life is...and I get to leave Niko home by herself!!! Here is a little look into our adventures:

Adventures with Puffy:

Thankfully, Puffy is still alive...

...despite the fact there is a lot of this:

...and this:

...and this:

Adventures in Everyday Life:

We have quite the set schedule.
5:30am wake up
6am go jogging/walking
6:45am play with Puffy
7am I get in the shower (on Tuesday she still wanted to play when I got in the shower - so she threw her pink ball into the shower...scared the crap out of me!)
7:45 while I am finishing getting ready for work - I bore Niko so she climbs in my bed and goes back to sleep. I feel like she is teasing me - "Thanks for the jog Mom - now can you please shut the lights off and leave?"
5:30pm get home from work.
6pm go jogging/walking
6:45 relax and make dinner
7-10 the 3 hours I have to get everything done and also play with her

***Obviously I go nowhere and thus, dating will remain as it currently is - non-existent

Adventures in Dieting:

Poor thing is on a diet. Therefore, I now measure her food. It is interesting to see that sometimes the food is gone in a second and other times she barely touches it all day. I think she wonders if I am mad at her because I'm not giving her (as much) people food.

Side note: Niko does NOT like carrots :)

Adventures in Backpacking:

I bought Niko a backpack. The reason? I don't feel like holding keys, cellphone, poop bags, etc... while we are walking. Actually, it is awful when we are jogging. If I wear a cross-body purse- it hits my back. So, I figured - Niko can do it. I spent a pretty penny on it. But, doesn't it look cute?

Do you notice the nervous smile? Yep - she hates it. Although, she did let me put it on 3 times with some coaxing.

Unfortunately, the backpack is getting returned to the store. It shifts on her body when we are walking. I am trying to come up with a better plan.

Adventures in Meeting "Friends":

Niko doesn't have any dog friends and I think she really wants them. She gets really excited when she sees other dogs. She about knocks me over trying to get to them. Crazy enough, when she finally gets side by side with them, she often "hides" behind my legs because she is a bit scared. Here are some of the "friends" she has ran into in the last week:

Jazzy: the neighbors below me got a baby English Bull Dog. She is SO cute - but Niko thinks Jaz is invading our home. (Niko thinks the WHOLE apartment building is ours)
April: the weirdo neighbor's yellow lab - who is never on a leash. Niko wanted to play but I really don't trust this dog - seems a bit crazy. Plus, I want to stay away from the weirdo.
2 Golden Retreivers (at the vet): They didn't have any interest in Niko's existence. Their owner wanted me to keep Niko as far from them as possible. JERK. Aren't dog lovers supposed to like other dog lovers?
2 Pittbulls on the trail: Came out of the trailor park with their owners. From a distance, I became a bit nervous. Obviously, you can't trust a book by its cover as these were the nicest dogs and owners I have run into in the last week.
2 Very Pretty well-groomed dogs in the parking lot - one a lab and one a cocker spaniel: Again, can't judge a book by its cover. The owners were dressed very well with expensive accessories. However, their dogs were EVIL. The lab-mix was snarling at Niko. Not barking or growling - snarling. Then, of course, the expensively-dressed woman started hitting him and screaming....her and her boyfriend glared (as though I wasn't allowed in "their" parking lot). Niko gave me a concerned look, ignored the dogs and we walked off. Take that :)
Maya: Oh Maya! My favorite so far. Niko met her tonight. Maya was off her leash. The girls loved each other. For a minute, Niko hid behind my leg - not that she was scared, but more like she was nervous to meet such a calm, sweet dog. I assumed the dog was a 6-month old lab. Nope. She is a mutt and is 3-4 years old - but looks like a young black lab. Niko was so happy and I am so proud of her. She made a true friend tonight.

Adventures at the Vet...Again

When Niko went to the vet last week, they asked me if I wanted this special test done. It isn't necessary, but it is a blood test to check everything. While it is $40 - I told them to do it because I wanted to make sure she was completely checked. Unfortunately, that test showed a bit of an abnormality. There is a possibility that she has kidney disease. Very scary...very, very scary. (Some may think it isn't a big deal - but she is my baby) I am not going to dwell - I get the results soon.

So, I got Niko into the vet on Thursday. In order to check for kidney disease, they need to do a urinalysis. For that, they obviously need urine. She would NOT pee for me and the vet tech. Picture this, me and some blond girl following Niko around in the rain trying to get her to pee. Not the most fun I have ever had. However, she did get her nails done.

Of course - she was just as bad as the first time. This time, my feet were wet from the rain and the floor was wet. Niko basically had me ice-skating across the floor. Boy, I look like a GREAT dog owner...

...if they can't get her to pee at the office - how do we get it? Well, dear friends, that means that it is Mommy's job to collect. Unfortunately, I am Mommy. They gave me a clear, plastic tray and gloves and sent me on my way....yep...

Do you know what 4 people told me to use? This:

Adventures in Pee Collection:

Today I was a bit stressed about getting pee all over me. I had every bad situation running through my head. I was picturing her kicking it and having it spill all over me and my face. Gross...

I am happy to report that it went more perfect than I could have imagined. I got home from work and then put on the gloves, grabbed a plastic bag and took her outside. She dropped to pee and I easily slid it under her before she began peeing. I actually had to pull it back because she almost filled it. Then, I put the tray in the ziplock bag, put her in the apartment, and brought it to the vet. Perfect. No pee on me. Thankfully :)

No...there are no pictures or videos - even though I was asked by a large group of people to have record of it.

Adventures in Sleeping:

I have slept better in the last week than I have in the last year. Thank you Niko - Mommy needed you. However, it is a good thing I don't have a boyfriend/husband - her and I take up the whole bed.

Adventures with Me:

I have been really happy.
I bought a daily devotional and started reading it each day.
My stress level is pretty low.
I cuddle with my baby each day.
Did I mention that even though I am a crazy pet owner - I feel like myself again?
I AM ok by myself...now that she is with me :) Is that still being co-dependent?

I don't know what will happen tomorrow (kidney disease or no kidney disease) nor do I know what is going to happen in the future. However, each day is a new adventure and things will happen when they are supposed to. Squeaks and I will handle whatever comes at us.

I Sazzle because I am a FANTASTIC urine collector :)

Not Doing it Tomorrow - But it WILL Happen

The 5K is tomorrow morning. I'm not doing it. Please don't judge - there are very valid reasons.

My first 5K has to be done RIGHT. There have been a few things that have gotten in my way.

• With Niko, the schedule of early morning walks is tiring - it has taken until Friday for me not to be exhausted all day long. New schedules require a lot of work
• While Niko and I are walking enough to exhaust her - we haven't been running a lot. Poor girl is fat and doesn't have the endurance yet
• We are jogging/running more and more each day - but neither one of us is used to running like that outside so we are both adjusting
• I haven't compensated by getting on the treadmill - she is scared of it - plus I am so happy to be with her that we have cuddled a TON
• I have had a cold all week - and tonight I am running a slight fever. I am afraid of what tomorrow will bring
• Until yesterday I was getting massive shin splints each time I ran. It is getting better now. Conditioning

The most important thing is that I am NOT running very much since Niko came. Not enough. It is going to take some time to get used to everything. I want to REALLY celebrate my first 5K. This one would be an embarrassment. But, Niko and I HAVE to walk/run/jog outside. By the spring, we will be more conditioned and I will be proud to run the 5K.  Perhaps the whole reason is that I am competitive and know that I wouldn't have a competitive performance.

...and...nobody else is doing the run anymore.

BUT - MARK MY WORDS - I WILL DO IT before the end of 2010.

Most Sazzlerific Weekend Ever!

Ok folks - going to get a bit sappy for a second. Please bare with me. I have been so happy this weekend that I have been teary-eyed. My life is so much better with Niko here. She makes me feel like myself again. I can't explain it, but having her here makes everything ok. My stress seems to have completely melted away.

Ok...done with the sappy-ness/mess...onto the fun stuff. This weekend totally Sazzled!!!

Friday Sazzled:

• I didn't work. That Sazzled :)
• Niko is ALL caught up on shots. I know she is in good health and know what I need to do to get her in better health
• Dinner with Angela rocked! A couple of shots and talking to the guitar player was fun!
• Here is a picture of us at Dane before it started.

• 
  
  DANE COOK ROCKED!!! Did I mention that I was at the stage when he entered and exited? Look at how close we were!!!
  
  
  

• 
  
  After Dane, Angela and I met up with Tami and her husband as Z's. I embarrassed myself and thought some other dude was Tami's husband...but apparently didn't look anything like him...Angela had a good laugh.
  
  
  
• 
  
  Here is a pic of Tami and me. Her camera rocks! I was glad I could give her the eye mask I promised her a few months ago.
  
  
  

• Friday night I didn't get lost going home - which is quite an accomplishment as I get lost very easy. Someone once told me: "Stephanie can get lost in a box" which is sadly probably true :)

Saturday Sazzled:

• Niko and I walked Kent Trails for excercise and to practice more on the leash. Before she moved in with me she had only been on a leash a couple of times. I think her progress is doing pretty well. Funny enough, I am trying to get her to understand her commands outside of the apartment. In the apartment, she will sit, lay down, shake, speak and roll over easily. Once you get her outside, she becomes deaf and doesn't listen. So, I have been playing this game that when she sits outside (after a lot of coaxing) we can run really fast. However, now every time I say "good girl" she now wants to sprint. When she walks slowly next to me I say good girl and she speeds up. Perhaps she needs a treat when she sits instead. :)
• I was complaining to mom about the stuff I have to carry when I am walking Niko - cellphone, keys, poop bags, etc... Then I realized that it would be easy to just get Niko a backpack. What do you all think?
• Here is a pic of Niko walking the trails. Do you see how happy she is?

• Abby came over for movie night. It was a blast! We watched The Proposal - which she actually didn't hate! Then, she made me watch Boondock Saints. Sort of a weird movie - but quite good and I recommend it to everyone that likes a bit of blood and action. Love spending time with Abby! Plus, she spoils Niko. Last night Niko got sunflower seats, pizza crust, and wings. She was in HEAVEN with the chicken. Normally she drools over popcorn but she wouldn't touch it because we had chicken wings. You should have seen her grab the wing out of Abby's hand (Abby was going to let her nibble but Niko grabbed the whole thing)...and then Abby had to reach her hand into Niko's mouth to grab it back out. It was quite funny. We stayed up until almost 4am and Abby had to work in the morning...ooops!
• Here is a pic of Niko and me that Abby took. Have you seen anyone ever so happy?

Sunday Sazzled:

• Sunday was less about "getting stuff accomplished" and more "create a checklist for the things I want to accomplish this week". The list is coming along nicely :)
• Niko and I took 2 long walks on Kent Trails. She loved it. It is so funny to see how excited she gets when I say "do you want to go on a walk".
• Rest, rest, rest and relaxation :)
• Funny story: A squirrel climbed onto my balcony while Niko was sound asleep cuddling with me on the couch. Very casually, I said, "huh...there is a squirrel". The second Niko heard "squirrel" she jumped up and ran to the slider - growling and barking at the squirrel. I thought she was going to break the glass she wanted it so bad :)
• This is Niko watching the squirrel ... wanting so bad to eat it :)

• And, last but most certainly not least - Kim made me the fantastic header you now see on my blog. It is wonderful and very cool of her to do.
  

So, that was my wonderful weekend - it SOOOO Sazzled :) Now, off to dinner and finishing my checklist. Perhaps I will accomplish one or 2 of the items before bed.

Kim Sazzles!!!!

Kim Sazzles!!!

Today Kim emailed me a new header for my blog. Isn't it fantastic?!?!?!

Kim is the person who got me started on blogging. She will give me great tips from time to time. She even showed me that you can import old blogs into a new one (although I haven't tried it yet). I always go to her blog to check out the new stuff she has added and her fun widgets. Kim is a great photographer and photoshop (and any other program like it) wiz. The new header fits on the blog much better than the old one did. I LOVE it!!!

Sometimes people do things that are really cool and you are reminded that lots of wonderful, good people go out of their way to make others happy. Thanks for making my day, Kim!

KIM SAZZLES!!!!

Embarrassing Adventures at the Vet

Admittedly, I have not been the best Mommy by keeping Niko caught up on her vet appointments and shots. However, I am going to be better from now on, and yesterday I took her in for a full physical.

So - I was humiliated beyond all comprehension....and here's what happened:

Niko gets really nervous/excited/anxious when going anywhere new. Perhaps it is due to the fact that she doesn't travel very often. Walking her on a leash is really her walking me. Getting her in and out of a car is really letting her enter and exit first - and she will knock you over if you try to do anything different. But, she is beautiful :)

Before the exam:
We walked into the vet's office and it took every muscle I had to keep her under control. All she wanted to do was sniff everything and everyone. Of course, she is a pretty lab so everyone thought she was beautiful. Picture this, her big fat body pulling me in every direction while I am trying to get her paperwork and my license out of my purse. She almost pulled me to the floor a few times! Now, most of the people in the office were excusing her and telling her she was pretty, but I was so embarrassed!!! When 2 golden retrievers were sitting in the waiting room, she went nuts! I even had a pet owner come up to me and recommend the "gentle leader" which is kinda like a muzzle but not really. So humiliated!!!

During the exam:
By time we got into the examination room, I was exhausted. Thankfully the "nurse" or "tech" closed the doors and let me sit down. Whew!!! We talked about Niko - who is...um...overweight. I tease that she is my 100-pound dog but really I thought she weighed around 85-90 pounds. Nope. 99. Yes, that is right, 99 pounds. You all realize that means that there is less than a 30 pound difference between her weight and mine. AND, she is CLEARLY stronger than I am. No wonder I struggle to hang on!!! So, now I have to limit her dog food, no more people food, limit the treats, and give her carrots to snack on instead of pancakes :( It sucks to diet. Poor thing.

The vet was wonderful. She took her time with Niko and answered all of my questions. Sue, the tech is the office's behavioral specialist and gave me some better ideas on how to better leash train Niko. She suggested the gentle leader as well as attending Adult Obediance classes - which I think I am going to do. If you are going to have a dog, you should do it right, right? However, it is QUITE expensive.

Thankfully, I didn't have to watch her get her shots. In Holland I had to. I don't like it...at all. But, they took her back to another room to do all that stuff.

When she was done, she came out wearing a hankerchief that said she had been heart worm tested. It was kinda like the stickers you get when you donate blood...too cute.

After the Exam:
If I was embarrassed before the exam, that was NOTHING compared to after the exam. Apparently all her shots did not calm her down. There were 2 guys in the waiting room. When they saw Niko, they gasped. Really? She is a lab, not a bear. One guy kept making comments about how big she was. Perhaps it was because I was wearing flats and looked really short. She also wanted nothing to do with sitting still. She wanted to run. It is really hard to sign documents when you are using all your muscles to hold a dog. Plus, they had to print a bunch of documents for me, so I couldn't exactly just sign and go.

At one point, one of the guys said "You know you can chain her to the counter, right?"
The guy stuck on her size commented back, "No way, that dog would break the counter!"
SERIOUSLY people! She is a LAB!

Then, the most horrific thing happened. Two guys brought in their dog...in a cat carrier nonetheless...
Let's put it this way, this dog wasn't even the size of one of Niko's paws...that small...and excited. The guys put the dog down and the little dog got really excited to come say hi to Niko. Now, Niko loves big and small dogs alike....hmmmm.... However, she must have thought this dog was either a rat or a squirrel or some other animal. Niko got really low, her hair stuck straight up and she let out an extremely horrifying big girl bark.

Sigh.

Immediately the 2 guys picked up their little doggie. I was mortified!!! I of course yelled out her name - which only made her bark again. Double sigh.

Finally, I got all my paperwork and left. She MUST attend obedience classes...

Here is everything she had done, poor girl:

• Complete physical
• Distemper shot
• Leptospirosis shot
• Bordatella shot
• Rabies shot
• Fecal exam - gross
• Canine Junior Wellness Profile (whatever that is)
• Heartworm test

Thankfully she doesn't need anything else until next October. Except the obedience classes and the gentle leader.

When we got home, she was completely exhausted and passed out at my feet. I didn't feel so bad about leaving for the Dane Cook concert - knowing she needed to rest.

I Sazzle because I am trying to be the best Mommy I can.

Sazzle and Squeakers: Together Again

Many of you have been waiting for this blog. Frankly, I have been dying to write it!

Let's just recap the story: Jason and I got a dog together. Niko: aka Squeakers aka Kramer aka Rasheed aka Princess...and many more. She is 2 1/2 and beautiful. She is a huge chocolate lab and I love her. While we did, indeed, get her and raise her together, she is my dog. I paid every bill she ever had, I took care of her for two weeks before he even met her, for 8 months I woke up at 5am to cuddle on the couch with her for 2 hours before I had to go to work - that only ended when she began sleeping with us, speaking of sleeping - she slept on MY legs all night, she is AKC certified under my name alone, and I was the one that nursed her to health after she got fixed. Yes, Jason loves her and cares for her and cuddles with her and excercises her - but she is MY dog.

When we broke up, the arrangement was that she would stay with him at the house ONLY because then she would have the yard. Also, the arrangement was that I would get to see her whenever I wanted. A few weeks ago, Jason said that he never wanted to see me again (perfectly fine with me) and that one of us had to give her up. He said he was prepared to buy Bryce a new dog. As she is ultimately MY dog, I took her. When he realized I was serious, he fought it for a bit - but finally realized that a court would grant me custody so he gave in.

Thursday night I picked her up. Honestly, the pick up went better than planned. I was really worried that he would "hide" her somewhere. Luckily he gave her up. He was, of course, upset. Who could blame him? She is AWESOME! However, my intention was never to completely take her away from him. I reiterated that anytime he and Bryce want to see her, all he has to do is call.

So, how has it gone? PERFECTLY. My princess has cuddled with me and played and we have went on walks along Kent Trails. She is happy and relaxed. We are both content as can be. I haven't been this happy with my life in at least 2 years. It is just me and Squeakers :)

Let's chat about what we have done:

• Friday morning she woke me up at 3am to go potty - but she really wanted to play.
• After playing for a bit, we went back to bed and woke up a bit later.
• We went for an hour-long walk/run on Kent Trails.
• My mom showed up, as she was in town, and Niko was excited to see her.
• Remember the pink dragon? Niko loves it and carries it everywhere. What should I name her pink dragon?
• Niko went to the vet. That will be a separate blog :)
• We cuddled.
• Today another long walk with Niko on Kent Trails.
• She is currently sleeping at my feet, cuddling with her pink dragon - content as can be.

I am so happy. Here are a few pics of all the fun:

Walking on Kent Trails

Loving her REALLY annoying sqeaky Halloween ball.

Don't you love how happy she is?















She loves the pink dragon so much. She hasn't been more than a few feet from it for the last 2 days!

I Sazzle because I would NEVER, even for a second, say "take her". EVER. That is why she is my dog and she deserves to be with her mommy. It is hard having her in an apartment but I am going to do everything she needs me to do to make her happy. That's what Mommy's do.

NYC

Hi Sazzlerific friends!!!

It has been a bit since I have blogged, but I have been in NYC. Can you believe I didn't even take any pictures? Craziness!

I am busy tonight - gotta run and then I am going to pick up my Niko for good, so I will keep this short and just give you the highlights:

• I was in NYC from Sunday to Wednesday night
• I stayed in the Best Western in Chinatown. It rocked. Luckily, the General Manager used to work with me so I got a bit of a deal on a very nice room.
• I worked out in the fitness center a lot - so I didn't gain a bunch of weight even though I ate a ton.
• Perhaps I did get lost in the subway for an hour or so - but it was a difficult subway.
• Fortunately, I slept really well while there.
• Forgot my cellphone charger at home. Luckily, I had my work cell and charger. But, FB doesn't work well on the work cell.
• Sushi every single day :) There are 2 great places right next to the office - GOOD take-out.
• Speaking of next to the office - did I mention that a Starbucks is attached to the office? Pumpkin spice lattes every day...mmmmm
• The office is on the 11th floor. My ears would pop, I would lose my stomach and get vertigo every time I went up and down the elevator.
• One night happy hour with the office - I DID get lost going to the bathroom - but Victoria told me to turn right, not left. I ended up in the kitchen and the manager asked me if I wanted to wash dishes.
• Had dinner in Little Italy with Natalia one night. Best ravioli ever!
• Dinner one night consisted of a Frenchman, Englishman, Austrialian woman and little 'ole me :)
• I accidentally brought the "Pee Key" home. (You have to use a key to get into the bathroom)
• Meetings and work went well
• Got to sit next to Natalia all week. She rocks!
• I actually slept VERY well...oh, I mentioned that already
• My flight home was weird. You walk out the terminal, down stairs, onto a bus, ride to the plane, then get out and board...weird.
• Meetings went well.
• Found out that I have another big project at work coming up VERY soon. Nothing like the 3 biggest projects ever.
• Booked my flight for Amsterdam. Going for 6 days in December.
• My arm condition got a bit worse right before I left. Another large red mark, swollen and a couple of blisters.
• Very good trip but Very glad to be home.

Now I am off to go pick up my baby so she can live with me forever!!!!

I Sazzle because I do. That's all :)

Getting Ready for Niko

As you all know, I leave for NYC on Sunday. Right after I get back, I am going to be picking up Niko so she can live with me. Obviously, I am really excited! It's funny but I hope the NYC trip goes by quickly!

Tonight and tomorrow I need to pack and prepare for her arrival. Cleaning, vacuuming, etc...

PetSmart was graced with my presence a few hours ago. There were a few things I needed to get.

• Not very exciting, I needed to get a tray to put her dishes on. Niko is quite a sloppy eater. Food and water go everywhere! Although, most of the time she is drinking out of the toliet, not the water dish.
• Next I got her some new balls. She has this one ball that I have had to replace about 4 times already. She is quite particular about it. It is bright pink with colorful knobs and it has an annoying squeak. I hate the ball, but it really makes her happy. She plays with it more than any other ball. Well, PetSmart had little versions of it but not her size. What they DID have were the holiday balls she likes. She has a Santa ball that she loves. I got her 2 Halloween balls - she is going to love them.
• She needed a new dog tag with MY phone number on it.
• I really wanted to get her a Halloween costume. If you look on my blog, you can see the cute Bumblebee I was last Halloween. Come to find out, PetSmart has one for dogs. Isn't it cute? Too bad they didn't have it in her size.
• Last but most certainly not least, I got her a new stuffed animal. A pink dragon. SO cute! It crinkles and has a squeaker. She is going to go NUTS for the dragon.

Can you tell that I am so excited for her to move in? Can't wait to have my baby with me!!!!

Dis & Dat

Here's a little bit of everything:

• Leaving for NYC on Sunday. I remembered today that my flight leaves at 6:30am. Gross
• Workouts are going pretty well. For 3 days straight I ran 3.1 miles and walked another 2. Tonight I walked 6 because my knees needed a rest. 22 pounds lost. 13 to go.
• Niko is going to cost me a TON of money. AKC certification, at least 3 booster shots, fees at the apartment complex, monthly fee at apartment complex and getting her license for Wyoming. Every penny is worth it because I will be able to sleep again. Her snore is soothing and she cuddles.
• Did you know that I got a threatening call at work today? The legal department had to contact the guy and tell him never to threaten me again. (No, it was not Jason. Funny enough, it was a guy trying to call a completely separate company - when I told him I didn't work there he began threatening me and called me the worst swear word of all)
• I found this thing called iChurch. Like a church version of Eharmony. Don't know if I trust it - creepers come after good and trusting people.
• I love Jim from the office. I wish men like that existed. I think over the years I have spent too much time day-dreaming of men like him.
• Everyone loves my Stephanie Shoes - as do I
• Today I fit into a pair of jeans that I haven't worn in over a year. Sazzle!
• Did you know that I always wear red nail polish? I haven't worn it in 2 days and I feel a bit out of sorts.
• I have been having a bit of a rough time walking in my snake skin shoes. I have been very disappointed in myself. Tonight I looked and noticed that the right heel isn't completely centered - but angled slightly. My foot turns in when I walk because of the heel issue. I have renewed my faith in myself as a heel wearer. Now I have to figure out what to do about the heel.
• I'm slightly sad tonight. I think I am jealous of Jim and Pam from The Office :) Being lonely isn't great, but as soon as I am back from NYC, my baby is back with me! My life partner Niko is all I need!
• Tomorrow I choose to have a Sazzlerific day!
• Did you know my arm isn't completely healed yet? You can't really tell by the picture, but it is still pretty discolored.

Offended = Removed

I have deleted the "Creeper" from my Facebook. Not because he didn't contact me (I got an email from him last night) and not because he is a "Creeper" but because he put the following comment on his Facebook wall:

"Damn...when is Jesus going to accept my friend request?"

Am I the only one that finds this seriously offensive?

First: I have been telling this guy that I would like to find a church to go to. If he wanted to impress me - this is certainly not the way.

The only reason I haven't gone is that I am really quite a chicken about going to a new place all by myself. There are two churches about 2 blocks from my apartment. One is a Reformed Church, which is how I was raised. However, I am chicken. I need to get up the nerve or find someone that will go with me.

Second: Obviously, Jesus is everyone's friend. Don't make a reference like that. It is inappropriate and seriously offensive. You are not amusing.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

Stephanie Arrived and She Sazzles!!!

Now, on with something fantastic and Sazzlerific!

One very bright and exciting moment today was getting my shoe of the month. This one is a VERY special shoe.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Therefore, pink is everywhere. So, of course there would be pink shoes available. The best part of all, the name of the pink shoe is STEPHANIE!!! How fantastic, perfect and fitting is that?

They arrived today while I was on break. When I came back, almost all of my employees were looking at me. Oh no...what happened? Then, they told me to look on my chair. I believe I squeaked with glee when I saw the box.

And here she is ... Beautiful, Pink, Stephanie. She Sazzles!!!

Update: OMG, OMG, OMG - Just looked at the fan page for Shoe Dazzle on Facebook....the Stephanie comes in MULTIPLE colors!!!

My Laughable Life Saga Continues...

So, texted him: "You and Bryce can say goodbye this weekend. I will be picking her up after NYC"

Jason: "Ok. We will do something special."

WHAT??? Didn't he just fight me all day?

Me: "You are agreeing now?"
Jason: "I can't stop you"

...up and down...left and right...rollar coaster

So - do I pick her up now to avoid him "hiding" her when I get back from NYC or do I just wait until I am back? I think I have decided to just wait. As much as I worry that he will hide her, I don't want to shove Niko on Mom and Dad for a week. I already have to do that in December when I go to Amsterdam.

My Goal: Never refer to Jason again until the house gets removed from my name.

Side Note: Creeper still hasn't emailed. Eh...life goes on. I will delete him from my friends.

I Sazzle tonight because I just took another minute off of my 5K. AND, I Sazzle because I stuck to my guns. No longer will I let someone bully me into giving in. I am all for compromises - but I'm not going to bend over anymore.

I Want Off this Rollar Coaster, it is Making me Sick.

I am going to throw up over this.

This is not meant to be venting. I need HELP and ADVICE. I don't know what to do!!!

Situation:

Jason emails me: "I will pay you $$$$ and let me know whether or not you are taking Niko."
Me: "Ok. I am taking Niko. I will accept the amount of $$$$ as long as these (VERY fair) terms are met."

Jason: "Setting a timeline isn't right. You can't have Niko and I'm not paying you"
Me: "Wait, you just said to tell you if I am taking her and you agreed to that amount. All I did was add timelines and put in there that you had to sign over Niko's microchip papers - which any lawyer or notary would want to define."

Jason: "Wait a minute, you should pay me and you can't have Niko"
Me: "Um...no, you agreed to that amount and that I would have Niko"

Jason: "I will see you in court."

I swear, that is exactly what happened. What on God's Green Earth am I supposed to do?

Perhaps I am a Creeper?

So...perhaps I didn't block and/or delete the "Creeper" from my Facebook. Perhaps I have been chatting with him through Facebook emails. Perhaps there have been multiple emails daily. Perhaps we are playing sort of a 20-Questions thing.

STOP: Perhaps you shouldn't judge...I am lonely

Perhaps it is just conversation and I have no intentions of meeting him in person - at least not for a very long time. Perhaps the thought of seeing or touching any guy under the sun makes me sick to my stomach. Perhaps the thought of being around men disgusts me - unless they are my friends. Perhaps I have no desire to date again. However, perhaps I need more friends to talk to and my self-esteem likes the little boost it has recently gotten.

Perhaps the "Creeper" emailed me a question. Perhaps it said:
"Say I (or anyone else) told you to drop everything and pack a bag to stay the weekend in Chicago. Would you be excited or freak out because you didn't have time to plan?"

Perhaps I told him the truth.
"I would absolutely freak out."

Perhaps the "Creeper" has not emailed me since. Perhaps that means that I just scared away the "Creeper".

Perhaps that makes me the Biggest Creeper of them all?

Torn...but came to a decision

Many of you know I have been quite a mess today. I feel really bad about forcing Niko to live in an apartment.

You see, at the house she gets TONS of excercise...even in rain or snow. The house butts up to a nature preserve. What we would do is take her in the back yard and chuck the frisbee. She would have to run down a hill and up a hill to get it and then down the hill and up the hill to bring it back. After about 5 throws she was completely exhausted and as content as can be. We would do that with her 3 times a day. Jason would come home on lunch to take her out.

Unfortunately, there is not a place close to the apartment where she can go without a leash right now. The frisbee would have to be put away, which breaks my heart. Plus, even taking her for a walk every single day is not the same amount of excercise she was getting. Also, I can't take her out on my lunch so she would have to go a long time without going potty - and no play.

I feel really bad. It is not ok that I have to make this choice. Give her up forever or force her to live in an apartment.

I can't give her up and nobody should ever ask me to do so. I will be keeping her and picking her up when I return from NYC. It will be a lot and I will go from having no life to having my life be my baby. My life will revolve around her needs and I won't have anyone to help out. She is a BIG girl so babysitters are hard to come by and I worry she won't get all the excercise she needs. However, I know that she loves me and is happy with me. That is a good thing - I enjoy having someone "need" me. Now I am a single mother :)

To 5K or Not to 5K?

Dear Encouraging Blog Followers,

I totally Sazzle this evening. Why? Well, because I just jogged a 5K on my treadmill. Oh yes, 3.1 miles. Jogging. Not stopping. Now, I did it in 41:27 which is not a good time in the least. However, that does not matter tonight. What matters is that I actually DID it. Quite proud of myself. Sazzleness!

Oh, I finished my 5K jog with walking an additional 2 miles. Indeed. I have now lost 21 pounds (as of this morning). I haven't tried on the pants yet...

On with the ACTUAL 5K race. Martha - one of my blog followers - is doing the Nike 5K in Belding, Michigan on October 24th. I have always wanted to complete a 5K. However, I am extremely nervous about it.

Why you ask?

I never, ever, ever run outside. It is ALWAYS treadmill. I get shin splints outside. My side aches outside. I can't regulate my running very well - which is why I like choosing a speed on the treadmill. I don't like hills. I get really nervous about people watching me. I have bad knees. Yes, I am a baby, but it makes me nervous.

Now, I realize that I need to do it. It may not be a big deal to many of you but it is huge to me. I have to work up the courage before Thursday. Trying to rustle up a big group of girls so that regardless of my speed, there will be someone with me.

Niko Update

Exciting new development with Niko.

Long story short - Jason insists that one of us is giving up Niko. It is him. I would agree to a schedule. Since he does not want that, he can give her up. She is my baby and I refuse to be cut out of her life.

I hope that doesn't mean I am a bad person. In no way do I want to take her away from Bryce. However, at this point I need to think about my needs as well. Letting someone take her out of my life is out of the question. It is about time for me to do things that make me happy.

I Sazzle because I am done making sacrifices for others for no reason. I am living for me.

Picture Updates

So, I promised a few pics.

First. Tami wanted a picture of the Nike Mary Janes to see if she has the same ones. Do you?

Second, I promised to upload a picture of my new hat. Do you like it?

Finally and most importantly. Niko. Love her so much.

Weekend of High Highs and Low Lows

As life goes, we go through some really difficult moments. It is nice when those moments are accompanied with some good ones. This weekend had some trivial highs and lows along with some real ones.

Unfortunately, the weekend started out sad. On Friday, Matt Bushen passed away. For those of you that don't know, Matt was in my grade at Fremont High School. Now, I never hung out with Matt, but he was one of those people that you couldn't help but love. He was one of those guys that was nice to everyone. When something like that happens, you are reminded that your issues are trivial. While they are still rough and painful, it is nothing compared to losing someone.

Well, sorry to start out on a bad note. Some good things DID happen.

My workouts are doing good. Mon-5miles, Tues-5miles, Wed-3miles, Thurs-5miles, Fri-4miles. I have lost 20 pounds total. Only 15 left to go!!!

Saturday morning was quite a high high. Jason was supposed to bring Bryce to his rocket football game and thus dropped Niko off on the way. Hurray!!! A day with my baby!!!

Come to find out, the game was cancelled due to the weather, so Jason and Bryce hung out for awhile. Is this a low or a high? Not quite sure. It was wonderful getting to be with Bryce - and since they were there it helped calm Niko down. I read to Bryce and got to cuddle with him. It is unfortunately a low because Jason keeps going back and forth - saying I can see Bryce, I can't, I can, I can't. It is never-ending. Each time I see Bryce it is hard because I don't know if it will be the last time. That is a very low low.

High high: MSU beat U of M. Happy days!

The biggest high high of the weekend - more than 24 hours with my baby!!! We alternated between cuddling and playing with her ball. I have some great pictures I will upload soon. She was comfortable and happy. The only issue was when the neighbors upstairs were making noise. I think they might be moving because the amount of noise coming from their apartment the past few days is out of control. Each time there was a loud noise, she would get between me and the door. What a good little protective girl!!!

The last low was when Jason came to pick her up. Now, I don't want to complain so I am going to keep this quite short. He wants one of us to give her up - preferably me.

Anyway: I am not going to let him cloud my weekend. I got to spend time with my baby. Everything happens for a reason and someday this nightmare will be over. I am lucky to be alive and have friends and family that are healthy and happy.

I especially Sazzle today because I originally put many more mean details in the paragraph about Jason and I deleted them. Nothing comes from complaining. Life will work itself out.

Creeper? I Think So...Please Comment!!!

Last night I had a friend request on Facebook. I accepted the friend, as I saw we had a couple of mutual friends. Since both of the mutual friends did or used to work at the same office as I did, I figured it was an old collegue that I forgot about (that has happened a few times in the past).

Apparently I was wrong. This guy sends me a message through Facebook. I will sum it up for you here because he rambled on quite a bit:

"I know you don't know me, but I saw you "out" 2-3 months ago when I was with some friends. I thought you looked interesting and wanted to get to know you. I hope you don't think this is weird. Do you? I can't believe I am doing this because you might be insane. Are you? I thought you carried yourself well and obviously you are attractive. It is a crazy story how I found you on FB that I won't go into right now. I don't know if you are crazy, but I guess what I am saying is I would like to find out. Now I am going to go jump off a building - lol"

Now, we have some problems with this:

• We all know I don't go "out". However, I did go out ONCE a few months ago and did a bit of bar hopping to bars where there were a lot of people.
• The mutual friends would be the only ones to provide him with my name or a way to find me on Facebook. I haven't seen those mutual friends in months, but probably years. How else could he find me? He couldn't if he didn't know my name. Now, he says there is a random story, but anyone could say that.
• My Facebook profile picture is one where I have long hair - because I added it to celebrate Niko. I haven't had long hair in almost 6 months. I don't look the same. How would he know it was me?
• His profile picture is a child's picture. For some reason that creeps me out.
• He only has 3 saved profile pictures, but the others he does look SEMI decent and there are, indeed, some tagged pictures.
• He has added about 6 girls on his Facebook over the past few days (yes I did my research). Doesn't that make you think that he probably sent the email to all of those girls too? Perhaps he is a weirdo on the prowl?
• He used a LOT of naughty words in the message. I am sorry, but if you want to honestly get to know someone, you don't jump right in with the F-bomb, you know? You treat every woman like a lady until they confirm that it is acceptable to swear in front of them.
• His name looks fake. Bobbi Raven.
• The subject line said "No guts no glory". Weird.
• He looks a little like my brother Kevin. Pretty gross :)

So, I guess I am putting it out there to all of you. Which of these things should I do:

• He is a creeper. Block him from my FB
• Make him clarify exactly when and where he saw me. Then I can figure out if I was there.
• Ask the mutual friends if he is a creeper. Mind you, I am not really close with the mutual friends.
• Run naked through the streets with urine all over me...just kidding
• Maybe he is telling the truth. Interested in me? Probably not not telling the truth.
• Something else?

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. I am really curious to see what everything thinks.


I Sazzle because I don't let "I like you" cloud my red flag finding skills anymore.

Thursday Funday. Awesome

Pretty good day.

I thought someone wasn't working that hard. Had a conversation with that person and found that she just forgot to notify me of the other things she did. Awesome.

Got told I looked good by a couple of people today. Awesome.

Ordered my shoe of the month at 7am. I checked at lunch and they were sold out. Awesome.

Read a nice blog comment. Awesome.

My Mommy let me chat for a few minutes even though she is on vacation with my Grandma and Aunts. Awesome.

Unfortunately, someone called me on my work phone at the end of the day and called me some nasty names. I perhaps might have said a naughty word. My employees, perhaps, might have heard said naughty word. Whoops! Not so Awesome.

Survivor. Awesome.

The Office. Awesome.

Convo with a nice friend with neutral insight. Awesome.

Stepping back and admitting that I am not perfect - and sometimes I antagonize (sometimes with reason). Awesome.

I am Sazzle because instead of blogging bad things about the awful circumstances that led to me, perhaps, NOT being able to see Niko this weekend, I laughed about it to Amy - celebrating my singleness. Then, I did 5 miles on my treadmill -running/jogging much more than normal :) Sazzle.